Problems and Perseverance

I feel like writing about an idea that I’ve found myself implementing recently to help me enjoy my experiences more - one that I hadn’t used in the year following having read about it.

From the book, Love is the Opposite of Fear (which I also mention in “Happiness, Inner Peace, or Value” on January 24th) - “all problems are fun to solve”. I more or less rejected this at first, changing it into “every challenge is an opportunity to persevere”. My version pointed to there being value everywhere while the former felt like it was suggesting fun is necessary. I had thought the former sounded more off-putting and idealistic.

I’m currently reading “The Snow Leopard” by Peter Matthiessen, and one of the Buddhist Sherpas that has been helping him trek up the incredibly dangerous path through Nepal and Tibet recently dropped his own backpack, which held his sleeping bag and tent, into a glacial river. The Sherpa reportedly burst into laughter.

Maybe the Sherpa did persevere - choosing to find value in his experience despite what most would consider “terrible circumstances”. Or maybe it wasn’t persevering. Maybe for him it was just something that happened, and he didn’t have to make any decisions. Regardless, “all problems are fun to solve” has seemed easier to process and utilize lately when I find myself in less than ideal circumstances.

For example, imagine being frustrated with a coworker. They do or say something that bothers you - lingering too long at your desk or making jokes about your work.

Imagine you’re now festering, and you notice that you’re feeling frustrated. Upon noticing comes the hard part (in my opinion), you can decide (in a fleeting mindful instant rather than explicitly with internal monologue) that you would rather have a different experience than this frustrated experience. Now, using internal monologue, you can either think the words “every challenge is an opportunity to persevere” or “every problem is fun to solve”. The former seems to hold more wisdom to me though there are major drawbacks. In that moment, I have to assume that I am actively valuing perseverance, and that I “should” pursue this out of principle. Well, I don’t believe in “should” - the anxiety inducing cognitive distortion.

[Disclaimer - a therapist once recommended putting more steps between the feeling and the end result. He recommended - (1) notice the feeling, (2) name the feeling, (3) allow room for/don’t fight the feeling, (4) defuse/decide that our minds aren’t the same as who we are, (5) redirect attention back to what we want] (I use #4 often - remembering that the mind is a tool. We aren’t our inner monologue.)

Now, looking at “every problem is fun to solve” - in the moment I have to make less decisions. I recognize that I’m interfacing with a problem, and remember that it’s inherently fun. Done. What if it doesn’t work and I’m still frustrated? Well that sounds like another problem.. which is also fun to solve? Can we even change our beliefs like that? I used to not think so, but that’s changed for me.