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My decision to seek out a Buddhist temple of the Theravada specification wasn’t all that thought out. I had AI ask me questions to help determine which facet was most aligned with my values and practices before summarizing some of the major differences. I spent only an hour or so doing this. I imagine the equivalent in Christianity would be to talk to a saint in a church during a dream, and then the next day use AI for an hour to pick between being Catholic, or Protestant (L

Earlier this week I had a dream, and I think I saw heaven. At the beginning of the dream I was trapped in a cage on a high shelf, and my captors didn’t realize I could get out. They weren’t paying attention, and I wondered if I needed a bigger window to escape, one where I’d have more time get farther away before they noticed. I found the courage to escape out the back door, deciding that it was illogical to wait for a second opportunity. In the dream I knew with 100% confide

Earlier this week I ran Part II of Purpose Pathways with a person that I connected with in Colorado, and it went really well. I felt alive and purposeful as we aimed to notice how the universe works to satisfy his purpose both moment to moment and in the long term. Part I was Purpose Identification (where he derived a one sentence purpose for himself), and this session was Purpose Implementation. Afterwards, I had an interesting conversation with somebody I love relating to “

I went on a walk yesterday during work. We’re on the fifth floor and one of the ops center’s walls is all windows, so it was easy to feel encouraged by the trees all swaying east. I used to go for walks with coworkers at my previous company, but yesterday was my first here. I did a few laps around the building clockwise. To the right of the building when you walk out is a stone structure resembling a four pillar pavilion beneath some trees, just far enough away to feel mystic

I feel like writing about an idea that I’ve found myself implementing recently to help me enjoy my experiences more - one that I hadn’t used in the year following having read about it. From the book, Love is the Opposite of Fear (which I also mention in “Happiness, Inner Peace, or Value” on January 24th) - “all problems are fun to solve”. I more or less rejected this at first, changing it into “every challenge is an opportunity to persevere”. My version pointed to there bein

Shall gods involve themselves with our beliefs While strong convictions sing from mounds of sand Amorphous hymns drifting with wind it seems Like hyacinths may get to choose green land Toward afterlife one looks with gentle eyes Though by crimson clouds the years are shaded From shadows must one guard an open mind By the rising sun the stars have faded To wish the forest know a single leaf Is to deny our intertwining fates Though presently the past and future meet Our lives t

My Dad was one of the most compassionate people that I’ve known, and compassion doesn’t mean hanging out with people that you don’t like. Compassion is understanding that nobody is wrong on purpose. It’s understanding that everybody is doing their best, making decisions based on infinitely different experiences. Somebody I love dearly once said about my Dad, “you could steal his wallet, and he’d still like you”. For anyone that’s talked to him even once, it was easy to tell t

Purpose Pathways is picking up. I’ve worked with multiple people to help them define a single sentence purpose for themselves, and I’ve since gotten referrals. Part one is purpose identification and part two is how to implement this new purpose. How is the world conspiring to help us accomplish this? Simple Poetry is coming up next week - the first meeting ever of an Exist With Initiative Passion Group. The first meeting will be small, likely less than 10 people, the majority

Last week at the temple during meditation I had a new experience. Instead of noticing the entirety of my body’s surface area at any given instance (which I’m proud to say has become a normal daily occurrence for me), I transitioned briefly into a new state where (for lack of better words) I felt as if I weren’t separate from space, like I was uniform with everything else all the way through my body rather than just on the surface. Visually, I remember the experience as if all

(7/3) Tomorrow is the final day of a week long trip that I spent in France with my girlfriend. We met in Geneva, once she finished up what can only be described as “Swiss Army Search and Rescue Robotics Boot Camp” - a weeklong robotics workshop and competition where she slept in Swiss Army barracks, shared communal showers, worked a billion hours, and slept not enough. We swam in Lake Geneva before taking a train directly to Paris, arriving in the evening. The next day was ch

Last week I managed a day on 4 hours of sleep due to launching 3 satellites for work at 2:40am. Between then and now I recorded two demo podcast episodes in Pittsburgh and found out that Exist With Initiative had been granted 501c3 status, tax exemption from the IRS. Though excited about both, my brain immediately went into, “what can I do now that we’re here”. The podcast went really well, much better than I expected. I sent the 12 hour meeting invite/agenda broken down int

I’m writing this and feeling negatively. I notice most times that I consider writing while not feeling great I retreat rather quickly, but I think that’s a disservice to myself. How many of the best stories, songs, paintings, and poems were created from negative emotion? Thinking about it right now, I wonder if it’s the majority. At some point in the future I’d like to finish The Hero’s Journey by Joseph Campbell, but it’s incredibly dry and stuffed with vocabulary too far ov

As I opened the door a few mountain jays flew in, at least three before I closed it. I never discovered the actual name for these birds, but they were my favorites. The first I’d seen them was a summer I worked on a farm in the Swiss alps, and the locals called them mountain jays. Their blue bodies darkened into jet black spanning from their necks to the tip of the spiked tuffs atop their heads. They looked a bit different in Colorado, but the colors were the same. “How weird

I had a pleasant meditation yesterday evening, and I found myself contemplating purpose as I left the temple. While in a meditative state, thoughts come in all different shapes and sizes. Sometimes they’re verbal fragments, entire visual scenes, or something indescribable. I can tell how noisy my mind is within the first minute of a meditation, and in the hour that I sat cross legged yesterday, I noticed the noise was different than how it used to be. The noise used to be mor

To my alien friends, There are many humans with belief systems based on logic, observation, and measurement. There are even more humans that believe in things outside of the quantifiable, things that fit their first-person experience in some way that conflicts with the scientific method. I go back and forth on luck. My mother had always said my brother was lucky, which is why we could always find good parking spots at the grocery store. My sister was lucky too, which is why s

From a wooly mahogany flannel follow through, Pinus Cembra in fruitful abundance flowed like glacial excretion; Wood, scattered as starlings mid-murmuration, permeated into echelons of utility. The lumber settled like Scotch-aged moments amongst the fleeing Adonis Blues. Earth dusted callouses embrace carved hickory. In an affinity locus symbolizing the need for one another; Iron sifts through years of sturdiness with pleasantly redundant steady swings. Transcendental asy

Today I’m thinking through every way I enjoy spending my time, naturally leading me toward considering how little time there really is. I’m incredibly fortunate to work in a meaningful, interesting, and lucrative field, where I spend nearly half of all awake moments. As far as normal life goes, I’m really lucky in this regard (and in many others). I love spending time with my girlfriend, my friends, and my family. I love spending time running, working out, meditating, reading

Beneath branches of willow sleeps On pillow moss a forbidden heart Beating shallow for love it laughs Compounding beauty alive with art Soft hip a hammock my mind does lay As dreams do dim and her words a harp Subtle hymns and vigilant eyes Meet pursed lips to which I come apart Cautious waltz to caressing thumb Persevering love we traveled far To meet here beneath this willow Minutes shared and now a distant heart

A few years ago I attended a wedding for a friend of mine at a vineyard on the coast of France. It was a beautiful ceremony, and I had an amazing time. Following the wedding was two days in Paris with a few friends that preceded about four days in London with some other friends. All wonderful. Post London I took a train to Wales where I caught a ferry to Dublin. I felt home as soon as I was alone, feeling lighter on the train. The ferry ride was full of wonder that accompanie

Last year a younger professional asked me if we could spend some time together talking about career advancement. We’ve had many sessions since then, and it’s fair to say the insights and perspectives go both ways. He feels that I could be more forward in my convictions, once saying to me, “don’t be afraid to cause a problem”. He wasn’t wrong to some degree. I’m not a karma guy, but I do believe people are less likely to throw me curve balls when I’m not causing problems. In a